Jesus did not come to make nicer people (Brennan Manning quote)

Ever since hearing [The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein] many years ago, I've loved Silverstien's parable. It reminds me of Jesus, of whom Paul wrote in Philippians, "He emptied himself." He cried from His hear, nails in His hands, and poured out His blood that we might believe His love for us. Significantly, Jesus chose the giving tree, His cross, as the demonstrative sign of His absolutely furious love for men and women. In the words of one early church father: "the mightiest act of love ever to arise from a human soul."

How is it then that we've come to imagine that Christianity consists primarily in what we do for God? How has this come to be the good news of Jesus? Is the kingdom that He proclaimed to be nothing more than a community of men and women who go to church on Sunday, take an annual spiritual retreat, read their Bibles every now and then, vigorously oppose abortion, don't watch x-rated movies, never use vulgar language, smile a lot, hold doors open for people, root for the favorite team, and get along with everybody? Is that why Jesus went through the bleak and bloody horror of Calvary? Is that why He emerged in shattering glory from the tomb? Is that why He poured out His Holy Spirit on the church? To make nicer men and women with better morals?

The gospel is absurd and the life of Jesus is meaningless unless we believe that He lived, died, and rose again with but one purpose in mind: to make brand-new creations. Not to make people with better morals, but to create a community of prophets and professional lovers, men and women who would surrender to the mystery of the fire of the Spirit that burns within, who would live in ever greater fidelity to the omnipresent Word of God, who would enter into the center of it all, the very heart and mystery of Christ, into the center of the flame that consumers, purifies, and sets everything aglow with peace, joy, boldness, and extravagant, furious love. This, my friends, is what it really means to be a Christian. Our religion never begins with what we do for God. It always starts with what God has done for us, the great and wondrous things that God dreamed of and achieved for us in Christ Jesus.

from The Furious Longing of God by Brennan Manning, pg. 124-126, copyright 2009

What's your "rather than"?

I'm reading through the Bible this year (which I think I've said on this blog before, but I don't want to take the time to make sure), and right now I'm in the Psalms. I'm actually a few days ahead (I'm supposed to read 3 1/2 pages each day, but I usually stretch it to at least 4), so I got to read Psalm 116-119 today. There were TONS of verses that really hit me today, especially in 119, but I want to highlight one verse:

Give me a desire for your rules, rather than for wealth gained unjustly. (vs. 36, NET Bible)

While the whole of Psalm 119 seems to echo this sentiment, the "wealth gained unjustly" jumped out at me. Not because I struggle with gaining worldly wealth through disingenuous means. Rather it stood out BECAUSE I don't struggle with that. My weak areas are very different than that.

And that's when it hit me. Perhaps the author was envious of the wealth he saw others have, and he longed for the riches of this world, so much that he was tempted to find ways of attaining it, even if those methods were slightly unethical. And so the author had to express to God his desire to live "for your rules" rather than the area of weakness and temptation in his life.

What's your "rather than"? Perhaps it is money like the author of Psalm 119. Perhaps it is leisure activities. Perhaps it is personal advancement in your career. Perhaps it is food, or sex, or drink, or any number of things that can be good on the surface, but they creep into your character and thinking, becoming an idol - something that replaces God as the one you long for and give your worship towards.

As I prayed about my "rather than", I realized I seem to regularly need to give God these areas of my life. Some days I don't feel the need to say this prayer because God truly is first in my heart, mind, and affections. But other days, to be honest, God doesn't just slip to 2nd on the list - he often becomes 4th or 5th. And that's when I need to fall before the Cross of Christ yet again - not for my salvation, but for my continued sanctification - to allow the grace that saved me from my sins to continue to work that same purpose out in my life.

So not only do I encourage you to identify your "rather than", but to daily submit that area of temptation and weakness to the Father, humbly relying on the power of His Holy Spirit (the one who began a good work in you) to perfect his work in you until the day of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 1:6).

By the way, as I just reread through my post before publishing it, I realized that this probably all sounds quite strange to someone who doesn't have a relationship with Jesus and thinks the cross is just something talked about at Easter time as some event in history. So if you aren't a follow of Christ, realize that this post probably isn't going to connect with you (I dropped a LOT of Christianese in this post - something I try to not do too much). But if you find yourself longing to understand what I am talking about, please contact me - I'd love to talk with you about Jesus and what it means to live in grace.

Doug

Here's a GREAT mini-movie (it's eleven minutes long) from the creative minds at Steelhouse. "Doug" is about the role the Holy Spirit can play in our lives.  Enjoy this excellent parable!

Counting on God

Yesterday was a day of mixed emotions.  Facebook statuses revealed that some people are elated to have Barak Obama as our next president, while others can't believe God would allow Obama in the highest office.  I had great conversations over breakfast and lunch with a couple of different friends, but in between talked with a wife who is going through horrible marital difficulties.  Of course, several other things happened during my day - some of which made me feel joy and others that left me bewildered. 

I think January is one of the hardest months to live through.  I blogged last year about the rise in depressed people during the winter months.  This past week we've had 3 people (ranging from a 14-year-old girl to an 80something-year-old woman) in our church family pass away.  One of the leaders I work with at New Covenant unexpectedly lost his job.  Lots of people seem to be facing physical issues.  It seems that if "life is hard," January only compounds the difficulty.

I've been listening a lot to the latest CD of worship music to come out of New Life Church in Colorado Springs, CO.  They are the church that in 2006 had to release their senior pastor after a sex scandal.  A year later they endured a shooting on their property.  And now they are about to be chastised in a documentary film.  That's a lot for a church family to go through.

That's why their latest worship CD is so powerful.  It is called "Counting on God."  The words of the opening song have been stuck in my head for weeks.

So after talking with a hurting wife yesterday, seeing the various reactions to Obama's swearing in, and thinking about the difficult situations many people find themselves in right now, I thought I'd share the lyrics here in hopes that they might encourage someone to keep trusting God through whatever it is they are facing.

VERSE
I'm in a fight not physical
And I'm in a war 
But not with this world
You are the light that's beautiful
And I want more 
I want all that's Yours

PRE-CHORUS
Joy unspeakable that won't go away
Just enough strength 
To live for today
So I never have to worry 
What tomorrow will bring
'Cause my faith is on solid rock
I'm counting on God

CHORUS
I'm counting on 
I'm counting on God (repeat 3x)

BRIDGE
The miracle of Christ in me
Is the mystery that sets me free
I'm nothing like I used to be
Open up your eyes you'll see


Words by Jared Anderson
© 2007 Vertical Worship Songs

From the Album "Counting on God" by New Life Worship

The Fuzzy Life of Michael Clayton and Me

Last night, LeAnn and I watched Michael Clayton as part of our weekly date night. Other than the crude language, I thought the movie was absolutely excellent. A very fine film.

One of the techniques the directors and screen writers used effectively was what I'm going to call the "fuzzy" technique. Not fuzzy like a teddy bear. Fuzzy as in "hazy, difficult to see or perceive clearly." The overall film, like many good flicks, is "fuzzy" throughout, but slowly begins to crystalize and become clear by films end. However, there were many smaller fuzzy moments. From the very opening scene which leaves you a bit confused and lost, various parts begin to take shape and make sense. It was sort of like a puzzle that has many different elements in its image - each section of the puzzle begins to make sense as you put it together, and as each portion comes together, the whole puzzle moves from fuzziness to clarity.

I've notice that God sometimes does this in life. As I read through Genesis right now, I see God giving "fuzzy" moments to some of our ancient heroes of the faith:

• I expect life seemed fuzzy to Abraham and Sarah as they aged with no son being born to them like God kept promising.
• I'm sure it did not make sense when God told Abraham to sacrifice Isaac, the promised son.
• I'm confident Joseph felt life was quite fuzzy while sitting in prison when he thought God was going to have his brothers bow down before him as told to him through dreams.

While serving as the worship director at a church in the Denver, Colorado area, I felt God calling me into a more pastoral role. But the picture was fuzzy. I knew it was to be in the midwest. I wanted to be part of a church staff that had a strong team. I didn't want to be the "lead" guy, but I knew I needed to teach, counsel, and lead others. And I didn't think any church would hire me without a seminary degree, but I clearly felt God saying not to complete my degree. Things were VERY fuzzy, to say the least.

But everything crystalized. I am now the young adult pastor at a fantastic church in the midwest where the Equipping Staff isn't just a team, but family. I have had many opportunities to teach the Scriptures, to counsel young adults, and lead various ministry teams. And while I still desire to go to seminary, I am growing, learning, and being used by God in the lives of others.

I find this memory immensely helpful as I find myself in another fuzzy situation. Right now in one particular arena of life, a lot doesn't make sense. I keep trying to figure it out, seek counsel from trusted friends, read the Scriptures and other books, and pray about it. But just as I think something is beginning to crystalize, the fuzziness returns.

Do you find yourself in the midst of a fuzzy situation? Maybe it's your job. Maybe it's in a relationship. Maybe it's in your identity. Maybe it's in a specific ministry role. I don't know where it is. But I do know this - God is not surprised at your "fuzziness". And it isn't fuzzy to Him. He sees exactly what is going on, what will be accomplished through this time, and where you will end up.

I can't guarantee that everything will make sense in the end, but usually God allows us to emerge from the fog and see things clearly. Because when that light goes on in the dark of our minds and we see clearly, we can't help but be in awe of God and His plan and worship Him for His sovereignty.

"For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known." 1 Corinthians 13:12 (English Standard Version)

God In the Tough Week

This has been a tough week. On Monday, LeAnn sprained her ankle (or so we thought) while hiking out at Palisades. X-rays revealed yesterday there is actually a hairline fracture on the fibula (or is it fibia?). So LeAnn is confined to an equalizer boot (or is it a stabilizer boot?), crutches, and the couch (or is it a sofa?). Alright, I'll stop with the parenthetical questions (or will I?).

On Tuesday, my friends, the Dolezals, lost their little 5-month old son. I just got done officiating the funeral this morning. Nate and Emily really put together a beautiful service that both honored the short life Rowan lived, and reaffirmed that God is still God, He is still good, and they will praise him, even in the midst of this storm. It was an honor to be with them this week and be part of this tough time with them, but I'd gladly trade this experience with them if it could get them their son back. He was such a precious little guy who had battled so much and overcame so many odds - and then to have it all end during a nap.

It's been tough trying to be there for both my family and for the Dolezals, and try and get other work done too. And as I type this, my wife is at the clinic with my youngest son to have a spot on his backside checked out for possible infection.

But what I said in my message during the funeral is true and it's what I'm clinging to right now. A couple people said the message was really good and meant a lot to them, so perhaps it might be meaningful to at least one of you, as well.

------

I have been acting like a 2 or 3 year old lately. At least that’s what Emily indicated on Thursday as we sat together to plan today’s service.

I was telling her and Nate that my wife badly sprained her ankle (which we just learned yesterday is actually a hairline fracture on her fibula) while hiking at Palisades on Monday, so she has been laid up all week. One afternoon, she pulled out my laptop to do some things online. She has used my laptop many times, but for some reason when I saw her sitting on the couch, leg propped up, using my Facebook account to write friends, I inwardly thought, “hey, that’s mine! That’s my laptop!” Thus, Emily’s implication that my inner 2-year-old was coming out.

On Tuesday afternoon this week, I connected by phone to a tearful Nate and learned Rowan was not breathing. Emily was in an ambulance at that moment, and I could hear sirens in the distance. Not much later as I was on my way to the hospital, I got a phone call from Steve, today’s worship leader, telling me Rowan didn’t make it. As I hung up the phone, I found my prayers suddenly changing. I went from begging God to allow Rowan to live, to asking the question “why”. My inner 2-year-old was coming out yet again.

I think all of us are feeling a little bit like a question-filled 2- or 3-year-old in our grieving process. We think about Emily’s pregnancy with Rowan and his 5-months outside the womb, and our lips keep uttering “why”. Why did someone so precious and who overcame so many challenges in so short a time die so young? Why would God allow the sound of Rowan banging his plastic keys against his leg casts to be silenced so soon? Why does a nurturing 4-year-old brother have to now wrestle with the concept of a little brother who’s gone? Why do Nate & Emily have to be put in the difficult place of explaining to Rilynn that she can’t help with the baby’s baths anymore? Why would something like this happen to such a great family and to such awesome parents? Why couldn’t Rowan be resuscitated? Why would God allow this to happen?

As a pastor, I am frequently put in the uncomfortable position of being expected to have an answer. Whether it’s a theological question or a relationship question or just a life question, I am expected to have the perfect response. Unfortunately, I have let many people down.

If you have come today looking to have your Why questions answered, I am sorry that you now join the ranks of “people Erin Bird has disappointed”. I cannot give you an answer. I don’t know why God would allow this precious little boy to be born with the physical and genetic disorders he was given, (and which he was making great progress through) only to leave this life during an innocent nap. I don’t know why God would allow this to happen to such great parents – Nate and Emily are an incredible dad and mom. The day I got to visit Rowan in Iowa City just a couple of days after his birth, it was very evident that Emily was the right mom for him. She just knew how to care for him, even as he had casts on his hips, and tubes running everywhere. And Nate is simply amazing as a father. He is so involved with his kids; knows how to truly care for them and not simply be just some guy who lives in the same house. I can’t imagine a better father for Rowan, so I can’t answer why God would allow Rowan to leave these great parents at such an early age.

And so my inner 2-year-old keeps repeating “why, why, why”. But there is also something my inner 2-year old wants to do that I think will be helpful to all of us.

My youngest son turns two in a week and a half. He’s a sweet little boy who, much to my delight, loves to wrestle. As I wrestle him, I have the strength and power to hurt him deeply. He knows I’m bigger and stronger, but he trusts me to be gentle and play with him, as a good father should. When I throw him in the air, he completely trusts that I’m going to catch him. When he plunges into the water at the pool, he completely trusts that I will pull him up. He lives with a child-like faith that I, his father, will be there for him.

Jesus instructs us to have that same type of faith in our Heavenly Father. Mark 10:13-15 tells us the following story about Jesus’ view on child-like faith.

People were bringing little children to Jesus to have him touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it."

As I prayed with Nate and Emily and some of their friends and family in the hospital room Tuesday night, I heard that two-year-old type of faith in Nate’s prayer. I saw that complete trust in Emily as we planned today’s service and she shared what songs they wanted included.

Psalm 9:10 says, “Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.”

Nate and Emily know God’s name, they know Jesus Christ, and so they trust him. You and I need to do the same. We may be filled with questions like a child, but we need to also have faith like a child. If anything is going to help us grieve properly, it is a complete assurance that God has not forsaken us at this time. We must place our complete trust upon God through Christ.

But notice in Psalm 9:10 that God says he never forsakes those who seek him. If you are not seeking Him, if you do not understand the significance of the cross of Christ, then you cannot fully trust Him. And you are left to mourn the loss of Rowan through human means alone.

Seeking the LORD does not happen through doing good works or saying the right things. Seeking the LORD is something of faith. And it is not placing your faith in what you can do, but rather in what God has done. Mankind is separated from God by sin, and there is nothing mankind can do on its own to cross the spiritual breach that exists between humans and God. But God, in His mercy, created the path upon which mankind could walk to cross the divide. Jesus tells us in John 14:6 that HE is the way, the truth, and the life, and that no one can come to the Father except through Him.

If you have not placed your complete trust in God by placing your faith upon the cross of Christ as the payment for your sins, I invite you to step across, to place your spiritual feet upon the solid foundation of Jesus. Rowan was blessed to be born into a home that lives with faith in Christ. Emily was telling me a cute story about Reece and how he as a soon-to-be 4-year-old is just beginning to comprehend the idea of Jesus, the cross, and heaven. The story involves a bird’s nest, baby birds, and a trash can. You’ll have to ask her about it later. While the story brought a fun laugh in the middle of our grief, it gave me a glimpse into the home and the great job Nate and Emily are doing spiritually in parenting their children. Had Rowan grown to adulthood, he would have understood what I just explained to you, that Jesus died on the cross for the forgiveness of your sins, but you have to accept that forgiveness by placing your complete faith, your complete trust, on Jesus. I can’t help but think that one of the greatest ways we could honor Rowan’s memory is to live with a child-like faith in Christ, completely trusting him, even when our “why” questions aren’t answered.

The verse you find inside your program comes from Psalm 139, one of my favorite chapters in all of Scripture. And the verses Nate and Emily selected for today are perfect for the occasion. However, I would like to point out the verses that come prior to verses 13-18.

In verses 1-10, David writes: "O LORD, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD. You hem me in—behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence. If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast."

Just as my 2-year-old has faith that I will be there when he jumps in the pool or wants me to throw him in the air, God wants us to know that know matter where we go, no matter what happens in life, He is there with us. Notice the psalm talks about heights and depths – joy and sorrow. It doesn’t pretend that life becomes easy when God is with us. David experienced the best of life and the worst, which included the death of his own newborn son. But through it all, David knew God was there.

King David is known for being called a “man after God’s own heart.” But he is also known for his adulterous relationship with Bathsheba, which led to the birth of a son who died shortly after birth. When David’s sin of adultery was revealed to him by the prophet Nathan, David cried out to God, and penned the song that we now know as Psalm 51.

In verses 10-12, David pleaded to God:
Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

Emily used to sing these words every night to her little “Punky Pie” as she put him to bed, therefore it seemed very appropriate to include "Create In Me A Clean Heart" in today’s service. But if you are sensing that you need to place your faith fully upon Jesus, I encourage you to use this next song, as you listen, to pray to God, confess your sin to him, asking Him to create in you a clean heart, and to give you the joy of His salvation through the death and resurrection of Jesus.

A Time for Everything

For everything there is an appointed time,
and an appropriate time for every activity on earth:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to uproot what was planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance.
A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to search, and a time to give something up as lost;
a time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to rip, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silent, and a time to speak.
A time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.
(Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 – NET)

This is only the 2nd (and last) time that I have posted the same thing on my personal blog as I have posted on Waterblogged, the “official” blog of Watershed. But I felt it best to put this in both locations since it concerns Watershed and myself.

Last night at Watershed, I announced at the beginning of my message that I am stepping down from leadership of Watershed. Anytime a leader announces they are “stepping down” immediately questions arise: “What’s wrong?” “What did he do?” “Is there some scandal I don’t know about?”

So let me start by saying that nothing’s wrong. I’m fine. My marriage is fine. I’m doing well spiritually. I don’t have some unconfessed sin I am needing to deal with.

Also, Watershed is fine. In fact, it is going great and could possibly be at its healthiest point ever in its 4 1/2 years of existence.

So why would I be stepping away if everything is “fine”? Simple: obedience.

Now I must confess that my obedience has come slowly. I have sensed that God has wanted me to do this for several months. But I like Watershed – I like the young adults who come, I enjoy teaching, I enjoy worshiping alongside of those who come, and more. And so I fought against what I knew God was telling me to do.

But by February, I knew I had to obey. This feeling wouldn’t go away after much prayer and counsel.

This summer seemed to make the most sense for a transition, so I will be transitioning out of leadership during June, July, and August. The leadership team (made of Steve Adolphs, Matt & Amber Schouten, John Connelly, and Bill & Sue Lottes) will continue to protect the vision of Watershed. At this time we don’t have a solid answer on how we will oversee the teaching schedule since I have been doing that pretty much by myself. But I have no fears that we, with God’s guidance, will come up with a great solution.

I always knew my time with Watershed would some day come to an end, but I always thought it would happen when I died or God moved me to a different ministry. But I’m obviously not dead, and I don’t have other plans in mind. So my plan is to just pour into my family more and the ministry I was called to first as the young adult pastor at New Covenant. But I am remaining open to whatever the Lord wants to do with my life.

I want to thank all of the young adults that worshiped together through the gatherings of Watershed. Seeing you worship, give of your time in serving, and caring for one another and those outside of Watershed has been an inspiration to me. When we tried to start Watershed back in 2003, many people said we were crazy – it wouldn’t work. There was no way you could have people from many different churches come together without it wrecking. I think they would be right if Watershed was a man-birthed organism. But from the very beginning, we knew that God was leading and creating this unorthodox ministry. And we simply chose to follow Him in faith. That is why I believe Watershed is as strong as it is right now.

I’m excited about the future of Watershed. I wish I could be intimately involved to watch it closely, but God either has different plans for me or for Watershed (or both). I’m excited because last week around 10 people stood up saying they were feeling some sort of call from God to go overseas for a long term commitment (a year or more). I’m excited because I see people worshipping authentically through the songs and as they listen to the messages. I’m excited because I see new people being welcomed naturally. I’m excited because God is clearly doing something by moving me out, and we get to place our faith in Him and follow His lead just as we did when we started this crazy thing.

I’m not leaving Cedar Rapids anytime soon – so to any Watershedders reading this – if you see me around, please stop me and say hi. I’ll want updates! But not only will I want to know what’s going on with Watershed, but also I’ll want to know what God is doing in your life. So I encourage you to keep going deeper, to get in over your head so that the “river” of Jesus Christ can take you wherever it/He wants.

Still going deeper with you,
Erin

Bummer of a Week

I need to make this short, but this has been a bit of a bummer of a week.

• I've been ultra-tired this week and had several headaches - even fell asleep on our date night watching a Louie Giglio sermon (I almost never fall asleep like that).
• 3 of my 4 kids have been sick.  K might have mono.  S has thrown up twice this week.  The boys have both had diarrhea.  And it all started last Friday when S came down with the flu, followed by T on Saturday.
• Because of the sickness, we have cancelled our Spring Break trip to Nebraska to visit my 86-year-old Grandma.
• And then on Tuesday, March 11, my friend David Lloyd passed away in a freak accident.  It's been a humble privilege to be with the family this week as they grieve and I am amazed at their faith in Christ as they walk through this.  I have the honor of officiating Dave's memorial service tomorrow and am praying that not only do I honor Dave and the life he lived, but also Jesus Christ, who was David's Savior, even though Dave chose many times to live in ways that didn't honor God.  Dave was one of the first young adult guys I met when I moved to Cedar Rapids, and even though we only talked 3 or 4 times a year the last couple of years (partly because he spent 11 months in Iraq) and he wasn't always making God-honoring choices, I truly loved Dave.  Most everyone who met him couldn't help but love the guy.
• And just now as I finished the above paragraph about Dave, I just got a phone call that a friend has "lost his wife" - she's leaving him.

I know, compared to people in Kenya or Chad or other places facing genocide and civil wars, this is nothing.  But it still wasn't a pleasant week.

And then last night at Watershed's worship gathering, to end our time of worship together, we sang "Blessed Be The Name".  I love that song, but the "dark" parts had more power in them as I sang...

Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name 

Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name

lyrics by Matt Redman

30-Day Challenge

Tomorrow begins the 30-Day Challenge here at New Covenant. I am really excited about it! But before I talk about the 30-Day Challenge, let me share what has led to my excitement and anticipation.

We are starting a stewardship campaign to raise the funds necessary to begin construction of a new facility. We have outgrown our current facility, maximizing it as much as possible trying to delay the inevitable. And so the day has finally come for us to raise the funds to make a move.

I have to be honest - I do not get excited about building projects. I don't get excited about budgets. I don't get excited about talking about money (especially other people's). But what has me excited in the middle of these things is the fact that I am part of a church family that has decided to keep the focus on Christ. This isn't about a building. This isn't about making a name for ourselves. This is truly and honestly about Christ and pursuing God's will. I have been so impressed with our elders and staff - the humility with which they have approached this project, the planning and prayer that has been poured into each step of the process, and the grace with which they have moved forward knowing there might be some who would question their motives and leadership. New Covenant is so blessed to have the skilled godly men of character we have leading this church.

To help our church family have the same focus the elders and staff have as we move into this Embracing Faith Campaign, we have decided to have a "30-Day Challenge". Each person in the New Covenant family is being challenged to read a selected Scripture passage each day for the next 5 weeks. These passages have been carefully selected to help us keep our focus on Christ and to honestly ask God what He wants to accomplish through each of us.

And so the idea of our church family all reading the same passages, being impacted together by God's Word as we enter this critical time in our church's history, has me extremely excited.

But it also has me nervous. The idea of honestly saying to God "what do you want to accomplish through me?" means I have to be ready to surrender anything to Him. What am I going to be asked to sacrifice? I don't know. But I do know that usually great sacrifice brings great joy and reward.

If you are part of Facebook, feel free to become a "fan" of the 30-Day Challenge. We'd love to have you join us!

Junky Car Club

I am part of a club that I haven't officially joined, but I've been unknowingly part of it the past few years. The club is called the Junky Car Club. To join, you simply have to have a car that is 10 years or older, and the money you would normally use for a car payment for something "nicer" goes toward some cause.

One of the causes mentioned is Compassion. LeAnn and I started sponsoring a Compassion child our first year of marriage, and now sponsor two sisters in Tanzania (looking to add a boy next year when my son, S, turns 5).

And I drive a 1996 Ford Taurus Wagon with 146,000 miles on it. Not exactly the kind of car I would normally pick, but it gets me from home to work everyday without too much complaining (the transmission slips a little, but nothing is screaming under the hood at me). So I guess without even trying, I qualify for the club.

I might join officially, but part of me doesn't really want to. I mean, the club is about giving up something to give something. I think that is awesome, but in all honestly I don't feel like I've really given up anything. I give to Lucia and Rosina through Compassion because they need it, not because I need to go without a nicer car. I give to my church because of our mission to share Christ with our community. I give to missionaries because they are sharing Christ with people I can't. I give to local charities because they are making a difference in people's lives. I guess I wouldn't think twice about it.

So I'm conflicted about joining. I want to join to inspire others to give up something in order to give something, but I don't want to make it look like I'm trumpeting my own greatness. I guess I prefer to fast in secret rather than let everyone know.

I have a new hero...

I have linked to Eric Goodell's blog before, but I can't help but do it again. He has a superb (but mammoth) post about some of the things he has learned and experienced recently in Central America. His journal entry from June 21 is so good, that I'm posting much of it here for those of you without the time to read the entire online novel.

Pastor Bernabé is my new hero-on-earth. Thank You to Eric for sharing this:

I have learned a lot on this trip so far, but I can honestly say that the times that my eyes have been opened more than any have been with my conversations I have had with Pastor Bernabé [Ramirez] (pictured). Though much of my time has been spent here on the island has been spent in conversation with Bernabé, I think that more than anything, I have learned by watching this man’s life.

I mean, just two years ago Bernabé was a Doctor of chemistry making $204,000 dollars a year, had 14 employees, 3 chemistry businesses, a personal chauffeur, nice house and great recognition in the Latin American chemistry world. And simply because he wholeheartedly believed God called him back to his ancestors to preach the gospel, he abandoned it all and came.

He converted to Christianity 10 years back, literally saw a vision of him preaching the gospel to the Kuna people on these San Blas islands, and then fought it for 8 years before actually coming. Think about it, 40 years old, well established in his life, and yet he knew that he had to go. He said that it was like a feeling of anxiousness, a tingling in his feet such that he simply couldn’t resist it any longer. He just had to go. He forsook it all, packed his backpack, and came to the island not knowing anyone, nor having any training as a Pastor. He didn’t have a place to live or much of an income since leaving his profession. He has been supported by a church in Panama City but very little comes from there. And so there he was, one day a rich leader in the chemistry field, the next day on an island with an indigenous primitive tribe where the average salary is less than $5 a day.

Little by little, he took over an assembly of God church that had already been established on the island and gave it the name “Casa de Oracion Cristeana de Playón Chico” With the little he had, he began to fix up the broken down building, building benches and painting where it was needed. To this day, he is working day in and out to see the church raised up and the gospel message spread to the people of Playón Chico.

If the 180 degree turn in lifestyle weren’t enough of a challenge, the tests he faces daily are enough to make one throw in the towel. During the services, few adults come and when they do, it’s very inconsistent, and the children are running around making a huge scene throughout the whole service. It’s almost impossible to maintain a topic of doctrine two services in a row because the inconsistency in the attendance is so terrible.

He’s all alone and basically does everything by himself and gives his whole life daily for these people. He has to work hard in the hot sun and humidity in the fields trying to raise a little money to live on, to help feed his relatives on the island, the church, or works out on a canoe fishing for not only income but also to be able to understand what the people in the community experience on a daily basis. Imagine a Doctor, a prestigious, well known, educated Doctor of Chemistry out in the field covered in mud and sweat, sleeping in a hammock under a roof of palm branches, all to serve a people who don’t even seem to care? And it’s not just for a weekend or even a month long mission trip, but rather he is committed to doing this for the rest of his life if that’s what it takes to reach these people. Working, sweating, sacrificing, for what seems to be futile, and a waste of time, Bernabé is truly giving his life daily to serve God and these people.

When he came here, he had 15 acres of land passed onto him by his grandparents and had the option to sell them. But instead, he decided to become just like the people and farm the land himself. He spent an entire year alone in the jungle clearing land with his machete every day for 4 hours a day. He did this for two reasons: First, he didn’t want to have to be supported by the church. He wanted to work for his living and have food for his relatives on the island. Second, he wanted to experience what the Kuna people experience on a daily basis. He wanted to be able to talk to them about the things that interest them. Bernabé had an extremely formal and sophisticated education and could easily engage in a conversation of profound depth and philosophical topics with the brightest and wisest, yet with these simple Kuna people, he knew that he needed to master the topics that engaged these people’s daily lives; farming and fishing. He arrived to an island of people who had little if any education, with little understanding of the outside world, and a primitive lifestyle of farming and fishing. He wanted to better understand them, being able to sympathize with them, and build relationships with them even to his own pain and discomfort. Working out there for one day was hard enough for me, but it’s hard to imagine doing it day after day after day in the hot sun for weeks, months, even years in order to relate better to the people. It’s hard to comprehend that kind of sacrifice. But the amazing thing is that he doesn’t do it with an ounce of unwillingness or a feeling of superiority or obligation.

But the reason that I go into such detail about the life he has given up and the life he now lives is to give reason for my amazement when I see that this incredible man does it all with pure joy, and willingness, more than grateful to serve the Lord in even worse circumstances were they to come. Despite the apparent failures that daily plague his work, he never gives up hope, and keeps incredible faith that God is going to bring about the change in the hearts of these people and that God will finish the work He started on this island. Never have I seen such humility, such perseverance, and such faith in all my life and I can say that my life has been changed by the honor of spending 6 days with a person of such priceless and rare character. To sit there on a log in the middle of the hot, humid jungle with such an admirable man and to look into the eyes of someone whose love for God and for people drove him to such sacrifice was a real honor and privilege for me that day.

A young adult living for Christ

My dad sent me an email several weeks ago with a link to the blog of a twentysomething from my hometown and church. In fact, I used to babysit Eric (pictured) when I was in Jr. High and he was a 3 year old brat! He was quite the little kid - full of spunk, full of words, and his brain never stopped working. It appears not much has changed. :o)

But as I read Eric's blog finally for the first time today, I was so impressed that Eric, while teaching English in Costa Rica, is living for Christ where he is. So if you have a bit of time, you might enjoy reading his long posts about the adventures he is having in beautiful Costa Rica and seeing Christ in his life in the midst of it all.

Failing Quickly

Personal News
I sure hope it is okay for pastors to have bad days 'cause I've sure had one today - mostly due to the cold. First my garage door was frozen shut (because my oldest child - bless her heart - wanted to help me out by shoveling the drive, so she used the garage door to help scoop the snow onto her shovel...). Now the weather-proofing seal at the bottom is broken from my attempts to unstick the door.

Then I heard my sump pump running constantly because the hose outside was frozen. In the process of unhooking the hose so the water could flow out, I not only broke the hose (which was plastic, so no big deal) I also broke off part of the pvc pipe coming out of the house (which probably is a big deal). I'm just thankful that we caught the sump pump running before the motor burned out - which happened to us LAST winter. Anyone have a creative yet really cheap way of getting water away from my house in a manner that won't freeze in the winter? (Everyone tells me heat tape, but the heat tape package says "do not bury or allow to touch the ground" - that doesn't work for a sump pump hose.)

What a way to start the day...

Personal Thoughts
I just read the Swerve blog post about Failing Quickly. Part of me deeply agrees - life is too short to keep watering a dead plant. I've seen many ministries limp along because those leading them thought it would be "admitting failure" by shutting it down. So tons of energy and resources go into something that ends up shutting down in the end anyway.

But I highly value perseverance. The Scriptures tells us it will develop wisdom, maturity, and godly character within us. So I think there is there a balance between failing quickly and perseverance, but where is it?

I do know this - in ministry or business it's probably okay to fail quickly at times. In life it isn't. Failing quickly on marriage should not be an option. Failing quickly on a loan is a really bad idea. Failing quickly on your closest and most faithful friends or family should never be seriously considered. Structures and methods can be quickly failed, but people and integrity shouldn't. So while I don't know the line between perseverance and healthily failing quickly (that was probably really poor grammar!), I do know there are some things we should never fail quickly.

OneP3 - For hurting wives

I am not a female and I have a GREAT marriage. Yet I found myself inspired by the women behind OneP3. They are two women going through separation and divorce. But their response to their pain is amazing.

I love how they have clung to God in the midst of their pain. I'm inspired by how they have made a decision to still be women of the Word even when their husbands aren't being men of their word. I'm encouraged by their honesty. And I'm praying that God through his grace can make something beautiful out of their marriage messes by renewing not only their marriages, but of others who hear their story.

I think what encourages me personally so much by this is that for years I have been telling pre-married couples and struggling married partners that "marriage is not yours. It is God's. And because marriage belongs to God, you don't do things in this marriage ultimately for your spouse - you do them ultimately for God. So even if your husband is not leading or your wife is not submitting, you are still called by God to fulfill your role, no matter how tough things get."

That is so hard to hear, and even harder to live out, but I believe it to be true. And obviously the women of OneP3 believe it as well. And they are actually trying to live it out, no matter how tough things are right now. It's affirming to see someone living out something you've been preaching for years (even if they aren't doing it because of me!).

If you have a female friend going through a tough marital relationship, please show her this site. She might be encouraged by it, and be inspired to do the things that will draw her husband back to her. Now we need to find a guys' site that will tell guys to love and lead their wives by following Christ's example - death - even if their wife is like Gomer.

Devotion

While preparing for a Bible study last week (Route66 at New Covenant at 6:30 pm for those who are looking for a college/young adult group to get involved with) I ran across the following story:

"If somebody offered you $2 million, could you give up sports for two years?" This was the question a sports radio station recently asked its listeners. No games on TV, radio, or in person. No sports page. no ESPN highlight films. No Tuesday morning arguing about Monday Night Football. One fan phoned in and said no, he would definitely not give up sports, not even for $25 million. "It's where I turn when I pick up the paper in the morning," he said. "It's where I go when I'm on the Internet. It's what I watch on television. It's what I listen to on the radio in the car. Everywhere I go, it surrounds everything I do."

When I first read that, I didn't like it. How could someone be so addicted to sports? I mean, I enjoy watching a football game on TV, going to the Kernels stadium, wishing someone would give me tickets to an Iowa wrestling meet, playing tennis, or dreaming what life would be like if I actually had ESPN at home. But not give it up for two years for $2 million? I think I would be able to give up just about anything for $2 mil.

But then it hit me - what couldn't I give up for the highest sums of money? Immediately I thought "My family and my God." There is no WAY I could give them up for even two weeks, let alone two years

How about you? What are you devoted to? Are you living right now in such a way that no amount of money could make you give up your faith or your important relationships? What is it that you can say "everywhere I go, it surrounds everything I do"?

Tears and Confession...

I want to cry.

As I woke up to the radio this morning, I heard a news report that Ted Haggard, Sr. Pastor of New Life Church in Colorado Springs, CO and now-former president of the National Association of Evangelicals, was being accused of having a three-year homosexual affair. When I got to my office (after speaking at Isaac Newton Christian Academy's chapel), I headed to the Internet (before it was down for 5 hours today!) to learn more.

One of the first things I saw was an interview with Haggard. He denied knowing the guy, denied ever doing drugs, and claimed he was faithful to his wife. As I watched his eyes and body language, I truly believed he was telling the truth.

But now, just moments ago, I learned that he has admitted that "some of the accusations against him are true".

I am not going to make judgements about Ted or the accuser, Mike Jones, at this time. I've already seen too much of that in the few news articles I've seen so far. But if ANY of it is true, it makes me extremely sad. Sad that Ted would do what he knew was wrong. Sad that Ted lied to the media initially. Sad that Mike Jones chose to reveal this hoping to influence some ballots in Colorado.

But also sad because I know this could be me.

No, I've never had a homosexual affair. Heck, I've never even had a homosexual desire. And I've never had a heterosexual affair either.

But I have thought about a sexual tryst. I've looked too long at a woman on the street and wondered certain things. I know I've had all sorts of sinful thoughts and have been tempted in many ways many times. And if I'm not careful, I, too, could end up temporarily removed from my job while an investigation takes place.

This all comes on top of a book I just started yesterday. The book, Confessions of a Pastor, is gut-wrenchingly honest. I sat in my office earlier this morning with my Executive Pastor, Kim Pagel, looking through the chapter titles and realizing "Yep, I've thought that. Yep, I've struggled with that. Yep, that's me!"

As I read the first couple chapters during my reading time yesterday, I realized I HAVE to let certain people in (first and foremost my wife!) simply so I don't end up in a Ted Haggard situation. I love the Lord, my wife, my kids, my church, and my staff family too much to throw it all away for some momentary "fun" or "release". My pride wants so much to keep people out and maintain a certain persona, but God keeps telling me not to - I will eventually be found out if I try to hide the real me from those who matter most in my life. And besides, I'm not fooling Him a bit!

And so I want to cry. I want to cry tears of pain because of my own sin. I want to shed tears of sadness for Ted and Mike and New Life Church. And I want to release tears of joy that God is gently calling me to the painful-yet-freeing process of confession once again.

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.
James 5:16a (NIV)

Apathy towards the Divine...

Personal News
As I knew it would be, October has been a BUSY month. Here's a quick run down (if you care... if not, skip to the "Personal Thoughts" section)

I got the honor of leading a child dedication (which is really a parent dedication if you think about it...) at the wedding ceremony of friends Stephen and Tiffanie the first weekend of October.

Then the 2nd weekend of October I officiated the wedding of Austin and Sara (Austin's sister, Courtney, goes to John Brown University, my alma mater, so immediately you know she is cool - as is her family and new sis-in-law). I also helped with a funeral for a wonderful lady who never had her own children, but raised 6 orphans and 1 other child in her native country of Chad.

The third weekend was this past one, and I spent it at the Main Event collegiate conference (it was great - as usual!).

And this coming weekend I officiate another wedding for Ryan and Nicole (which will be a ton of fun!). Still trying to decide if I should squeeze in Saturday morning at our Pastor/Deacon/Elder retreat.

Whew! Just having the Thanksgiving holiday in November makes for an easier month. :o) Already looking forward to it!

Personal Thoughts

Sticks and stones
May break my bones,
But words will never hurt me.

At the moment those words are untrue. I've had this sinking feeling in my stomach all afternoon after hearing the words of a friend. No, he didn't insult me. But he did insult my God. Basically he doesn't care if he goes to heaven or hell. He tried the "God-thing" and didn't get the results he hoped for, and so God went from top of his priority list to absolute bottom.

It saddened me for him. But it dawned on me why he was so unhappy in life (well, he would say he is "desensitized" to life right now). I told him that he had tried to make God one of the chess pieces in the game of life. And when the piece didn't get him the results or the advantage he wanted, he chose to ignore the piece. It didn't give him good results.

But then I told him the problem with that is that God is not a piece in the game, he is the maker of the game and overseer of it. To know how to play the game, we have to submit to the rulemaker - how did he design the game to be played?

As I read the "rulebook" (the Bible - and yes, this analogy is starting to get cheesy and break down so I will abandon it shortly), God wants us to play with a submissive heart to him. He is not some pawn to be moved in a formulaic way to get the results we desire. He is a holy living God who knows we deserve death, but has paid the penalty through the cross because he loves us and wants a relationship with us (see Romans 6:23).

What makes my stomach sick right now, though, is that my friend knows this, and is still choosing to thumb his nose at God and live life "his" way. And to hear those words hurt deep. Not because they hurt me directly. But because those words are actually revealing the hurt he is feeling, and he has chosen to be calloused so as to not feel the pain.

And if my friend reads this, whether you want me to or not, I'll be praying for you...

More Phil Vischer

After posting about Godless Veggies, I saw Phil Vischer's new venture - JellyFish. On this new site is the story of how Phil went from starting and losing VeggieTales to starting JellyFish Labs. When I came across these two paragraphs, they really hit me at this busy time in my life:

---
Through the experience, Phil realized some interesting things. First, our relationships with God are much more important than our work for God. God doesn?t want us to be ?busy,? he wants us to be available. He doesn?t want us to focus on ?impact,? he wants us to focus on obedience. If we?re walking with Him, we?ll know when He has something specific for us to do. We don?t need to make stuff up. If we?re so wrapped up in the work we?re doing for God that we can?t even make eye contact with the person bagging our groceries, something in our lives is way out of whack.

Second, to be a Christian is to give Christ ?lordship? of our lives. That?s what it means. He?s Lord, we?re not. And if we?ve given Christ lordship of our lives, where we are in 20 years is, frankly, none of our business. Where we are in 5 years is none of our business. What is our business, is what God has told us to do today, and whether or not we?re doing it. That?s it.
---

God is so kind to me. Every time I hit a busy spell like this, I seem to get the above reminder in some form or another. Thanks, God, for the reminder. I needed it.

Material Lust

I have a confession to make. I am currently struggling with lust.

I think I know why God hasn't made me rich. As often as I try to fool myself into thinking I'd do the super spiritual thing and give it all away, I have a feeling I know where some of that money would go.

I am currently lusting for the new Canon Digital Rebel XTi (also called the 400D - see photo at left). And Apple just put out a 24-inch iMac. Our current camera and computer aren't performing at their peek, so it's justified, right? (Oh yeah, the bank account says we can't afford it. Bummer...)

I guess I should thank God for new products like these to help me relearn contentment!

If you'd like to think about finance, possessions, and contentment more, I recommend viewing the newest Nooma film - 013 Rich.

The Focus of Worship

Tonight at Watershed's Thursday Gathering I will be starting a series on the values that Watershed holds as a young adult ministry. The first value we'll be discussing this evening is Worship.

In my personal reading times, I've been going through the Old Testament (or my new word choice - "The Hebrew Scriptures"). Recently I came across a story in 2 Kings that I really wanted to use in tonight's talk, but for the sake of time and clarity, I'm not using the passage. So I thought I'd blog it! :o)

Worshipping Saving Snakes
Perhaps you are familiar with the story of the serpent on the pole in Numbers 21. It's a bit of an odd story - God has commanded the Israelites NOT to worship idols (I'm thinking specifically of the 10 Commandments in Exodus 20), but in this passage he has Moses craft a bronze snack, put it high on a pole, and have the people look at it whenever they get bitten by a poisonous snake. Jesus refers to this story in John 3:14-15 when he says that like the snake, he too must be lifted up (meaning that when people look on the crucified Christ to save them, they will be healed from their sin and separation from God).

(Interesting side note: I've been reading "The Gospel According to Moses" by Athol Dickson. Athol talks about this paradox (no idols, but look upon a bronze snake), and mentions that the Hebrew word used in this passage for "pole" is used elsewhere in the Hebrew Scriptures as "banner" or "example". He wonders aloud in his book that perhaps it wasn't the snake that the people were to look to but the "example" or the One behind the serpent. This goes along with what I discovered in 2 Kings, which I now come to...)

In 2 Kings 18:1-4, we are introduced to Hezekiah, the new king of Judah. Of the many kings talked about in 1 and 2 Kings, Hezekiah is one of the better ones - he was focused on doing what was right in the eyes of God. As the chapter is opening and sharing about the good things Hezekiah did during his reign, it mentions in verse 4 that he destroyed the bronze serpent that Moses has fashioned.

What? Moses is a hero - an icon of the Jewish faith. How can Hezekiah be "good" if he destroyed an ancient artifact that Moses himself crafted?

Because the people had stopped worshipping the God who told Moses to build and raise up the bronze snake and began worshipping the snake itself!

Worship Snakes Today
I think sometimes we make similar mistakes. I know Christians who have clung on to their style, their preferences, their "banners", and have gotten their eyes off the One those things originally pointed to. And I'm not just talking about people who are clinging to what many churches call "tradition". I think even "new" forms of worship have turned into bronze snakes for some people.

So when you go to worship God, whether corporately or privately, what is your focus? How good the band did? How well the devotional writer wrote? How much organ or drums there were during the music? What the pastor was wearing while he delivered the sermon? Or is your focus on the One who called these people and these forms for a season to be used as tools to direct people's attention to Him?

As John Piper says: "God is most glorified when we are most satisfied in Him". I encourage you to not be satisfied simply by a music style or a particular book. But be satisfied only in the One who gave the grace for us to enjoy the music and the books and to be used to draw our hearts toward Him. Move your eyes past the snake to the One who was lifted up on a cross for the forgiveness of your sins.