The Fuzzy Life of Michael Clayton and Me

Last night, LeAnn and I watched Michael Clayton as part of our weekly date night. Other than the crude language, I thought the movie was absolutely excellent. A very fine film.

One of the techniques the directors and screen writers used effectively was what I'm going to call the "fuzzy" technique. Not fuzzy like a teddy bear. Fuzzy as in "hazy, difficult to see or perceive clearly." The overall film, like many good flicks, is "fuzzy" throughout, but slowly begins to crystalize and become clear by films end. However, there were many smaller fuzzy moments. From the very opening scene which leaves you a bit confused and lost, various parts begin to take shape and make sense. It was sort of like a puzzle that has many different elements in its image - each section of the puzzle begins to make sense as you put it together, and as each portion comes together, the whole puzzle moves from fuzziness to clarity.

I've notice that God sometimes does this in life. As I read through Genesis right now, I see God giving "fuzzy" moments to some of our ancient heroes of the faith:

• I expect life seemed fuzzy to Abraham and Sarah as they aged with no son being born to them like God kept promising.
• I'm sure it did not make sense when God told Abraham to sacrifice Isaac, the promised son.
• I'm confident Joseph felt life was quite fuzzy while sitting in prison when he thought God was going to have his brothers bow down before him as told to him through dreams.

While serving as the worship director at a church in the Denver, Colorado area, I felt God calling me into a more pastoral role. But the picture was fuzzy. I knew it was to be in the midwest. I wanted to be part of a church staff that had a strong team. I didn't want to be the "lead" guy, but I knew I needed to teach, counsel, and lead others. And I didn't think any church would hire me without a seminary degree, but I clearly felt God saying not to complete my degree. Things were VERY fuzzy, to say the least.

But everything crystalized. I am now the young adult pastor at a fantastic church in the midwest where the Equipping Staff isn't just a team, but family. I have had many opportunities to teach the Scriptures, to counsel young adults, and lead various ministry teams. And while I still desire to go to seminary, I am growing, learning, and being used by God in the lives of others.

I find this memory immensely helpful as I find myself in another fuzzy situation. Right now in one particular arena of life, a lot doesn't make sense. I keep trying to figure it out, seek counsel from trusted friends, read the Scriptures and other books, and pray about it. But just as I think something is beginning to crystalize, the fuzziness returns.

Do you find yourself in the midst of a fuzzy situation? Maybe it's your job. Maybe it's in a relationship. Maybe it's in your identity. Maybe it's in a specific ministry role. I don't know where it is. But I do know this - God is not surprised at your "fuzziness". And it isn't fuzzy to Him. He sees exactly what is going on, what will be accomplished through this time, and where you will end up.

I can't guarantee that everything will make sense in the end, but usually God allows us to emerge from the fog and see things clearly. Because when that light goes on in the dark of our minds and we see clearly, we can't help but be in awe of God and His plan and worship Him for His sovereignty.

"For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known." 1 Corinthians 13:12 (English Standard Version)