Teammates or Opponents?

Last week I was on vacation with my family, doing the "Family Reunion" thing on LeAnn's side. We go every other summer, and always enjoy ourselves immensely.

Even though the weather was cold, we still got in some skiing and tubing. On the last day, I managed to allow my eldest daughter to convince me to go one more time, even though I really didn't want to go (the air temp was 71 degrees and the water temp was 75). One of the other cousins wanted to tube with me as well, so since I was already wet, I said "yes," and he and I hopped on our tubes for one more spin around the lake.

As we waited for the boat to make it's attempt at propelling us to temporary watery graves, I look at Cody and asked, "So are we doing this as teammates or opponents?" His nonchalant response made me think I was going to only have to battle the boat and waves, but with the rev of the engine, Cody's behavior revealed he was hoping to help dump me as well. (By the way, I stayed dry that round - Cody was the one drinking the lake!).

Company Teammates and Opponents

In the past two weeks, I've had to deal with customer service at two different companies. One behaved like they were my teammate, doing everything in their power to help me. The other company was more like Cody, immediately behaving like I was their opponent who they simply wanted to dump.

The first company was Apple. My original 4GB iPhone isn't working like it should, and since I purchased the extended warranty, I called for a repair or replacement before my warranty runs out next month. Since they no longer have original 4GB iPhones laying around, they are sending me a free iPhone 3G (should arrive today!) with a full year warranty on it. I worked with 3 different people on the phone, and each treated me like a valued client with whom they would do everything in their power to help. The treatment was amazing.

The second company was Zoom. This past week while on vacation, I helped my brother-in-law set-up a new iMac at their home. Because of where they live, his family is still on dial-up, which meant we needed to purchase a USB modem. Since the place we bought the iMac from was out of USB modem's, we headed to Best Buy. The only USB modem in stock was one from Zoom, and it said on the box that it worked with Macs, so we picked it up and headed home.

After properly setting up the modem and copying the settings from the old iMac that they were replacing (by the way, their old iMac was 9 years old and still going strong! Yeah Macs!), we ran into some issues. The phone call was not going through. Because we knew we had all of our settings correct, we feared it could be the modem. So I thought a quick call to Zoom would solve the problem.

In all fairness to Zoom, the call did solve our problem. We learned we did not need to include *70 before the phone number to turn off call-waiting. But to get that information was rather difficult. The gentleman I was talking with acted as if I was interrupting more important things, that I was stupid for even calling, and that I was opposed to him and Zoom's product, so therefore he needed to be opposed to me and my questions. It was rather frustrating. All I needed to know was why the call wouldn't go through and was there something that I needed to do to get their modem to work. But I was treated immediately like I was an opponent to Zoom when I was looking for a teammate to help me.

Applying these thoughts

As I am growing older, living life, and interacting with people, I am realizing that most people prefer to meet and work with "teammates" rather than "opponents". As I pastor people, I want to find ways I can work with them, even when I may have to be opposed to their ideologies or behavior. I look at the Scriptures and see many of the Jewish leaders of the first century acting as Jesus' opponents, which caused them to miss out on experiencing life as his teammate. Yet Jesus could look at people who were living life opposite of God's design, and yet he loved them like teammates, helping them change so they could experience the goodness of God's grace.

How about you? When you meet people, are you viewing them first as opponents? Or do you treat them as teammates? Are you looking to help them succeed? Or do you act like they are an imposition upon you and your time? I think this can be applied to that difficult co-worker, the neighbor next door, your kids (if you are a parent), the people in your small group, your parents, and even your spouse (if you are married).

So let me rephrase the question I asked Cody, "Are you doing life as other's teammate or as their opponent?"

------

Update: After typing all of this, but before I actually got it posted, I read the following article by James Emery White with some of the same sentiments I posted above. So follow the link if you want more food for thought on this topic of being an opponent who is quick to argue.

Enriching Lives

I admit it - I'm a Mac nerd. In fact, I almost daily read MacRumors.

But this post didn't hit the Mac side of me - it hit the "follower of Jesus" side of me (which isn't really just a "side", it's more like all of me, but I digress...). Here's the part that really hit me:

In a 2006 speech to an investment group, Johnson recalled the early planning: "If you want to enrich their lives, you can't be in a parking lot, off a highway. You gotta be where they live their life. You gotta be right where they work, where they play, where they live, where they shop. The only way to enrich their life is to be part of their life. They've got to walk 10 feet to your store, not drive the car 10 miles. That's what enriching lives would take."

I believe this is what the Church should be doing - not living life "off a highway" separated from people, but rather being "right where they work, where they play, where they live, and where they shop." This is exactly what Christ did as Philippians 2 so eloquently puts it, as does John 1:14 (especially when you read it in the Message version). And if you consider yourself a follower of Jesus, you are to act like Christ did - leave your "home" and go be where the people are. Or to use biblical language - followers of Jesus are to be salt and light. But the only way salt can enrich a food is to come into contact with it.

As a "professional" Christian, I admit that I allow my schedule to keep me from putting this idea into practice. But I needed this reminder: "The only way to enrich their life is to be part of their life." I just didn't expect a former Apple executive to be the one bringing the reminder to me.

Jesus did not come to make nicer people (Brennan Manning quote)

Ever since hearing [The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein] many years ago, I've loved Silverstien's parable. It reminds me of Jesus, of whom Paul wrote in Philippians, "He emptied himself." He cried from His hear, nails in His hands, and poured out His blood that we might believe His love for us. Significantly, Jesus chose the giving tree, His cross, as the demonstrative sign of His absolutely furious love for men and women. In the words of one early church father: "the mightiest act of love ever to arise from a human soul."

How is it then that we've come to imagine that Christianity consists primarily in what we do for God? How has this come to be the good news of Jesus? Is the kingdom that He proclaimed to be nothing more than a community of men and women who go to church on Sunday, take an annual spiritual retreat, read their Bibles every now and then, vigorously oppose abortion, don't watch x-rated movies, never use vulgar language, smile a lot, hold doors open for people, root for the favorite team, and get along with everybody? Is that why Jesus went through the bleak and bloody horror of Calvary? Is that why He emerged in shattering glory from the tomb? Is that why He poured out His Holy Spirit on the church? To make nicer men and women with better morals?

The gospel is absurd and the life of Jesus is meaningless unless we believe that He lived, died, and rose again with but one purpose in mind: to make brand-new creations. Not to make people with better morals, but to create a community of prophets and professional lovers, men and women who would surrender to the mystery of the fire of the Spirit that burns within, who would live in ever greater fidelity to the omnipresent Word of God, who would enter into the center of it all, the very heart and mystery of Christ, into the center of the flame that consumers, purifies, and sets everything aglow with peace, joy, boldness, and extravagant, furious love. This, my friends, is what it really means to be a Christian. Our religion never begins with what we do for God. It always starts with what God has done for us, the great and wondrous things that God dreamed of and achieved for us in Christ Jesus.

from The Furious Longing of God by Brennan Manning, pg. 124-126, copyright 2009

Rock Climbing Lessons for Ministry

As I drove to lunch, I listened to Matthew Childs' talk from the 2009 TED conference (I'm subscribed to the TED conference podcast). Mr. Childs had 9 life lessons he's learned from years of rock climbing. I felt like a lot of them could be applied to my life in my job in ministry. I also thought some of this was great advice for the young adults I counsel from time to time.

For those of you who learn best visually, here is a video of the talk. For those who learn best reading, here is the transcript. And for those of you who just want a summary, here you go:

#1 - Don't Let Go

#2 - Hesitation is Bad

#3 - Have a Plan

#4 - The Move is the End

#5 - Know how to Rest

#6 - Fear Sucks

#7 - Opposites are Good

#8 - Strength does not Equal Success

#9 - Know how to Let Go

For me, numbers 1, 3, 5, 8, and 9 really stuck out and seemed very applicable to ministry.

For instance, with #5: I have a friend who "flamed out" of ministry by having an affair - mostly because I don't think he knew how to rest.

With #9: I know some ministries that hang on way too long, and the "fall" is very, very painful. I'm proud of New Covenant for "letting go" of the Wash Campus when they did - it was the right thing to do, the "fall" was very graceful, and much celebration took place after we closed the Wash Campus down.

#8 also really hit home. I've talked with church leaders who were all about talent, personality, and proven track record. While those things are important, calling and character seem even more important. So strength does not always equal success in ministry.

I could go on, but I meant for this to be short. Feel free to comment if one or more of these hit you (or perhaps you disagreed with Mr. Child's).