I guess everybody really is doing it...

I saw this news article from ABC News saying that 9 out of 10 people have sex before marriage. The thinktank that conducted the surveys concluded that abstinence education is a waste of money since everyone seems to be giving their bodies before giving a ring, even those from more "chaste" generations.

First, I think it should be openly noted that the group that conducted the research went into the survey with a bias. While they would not say this, they pretty much view people as animals who can't help themselves in the sexual arena, and so we must educate these animals in how to have "safe sex" that won't spread AIDS and other STDs since they have such high sexual appetites (er, excuse me... "needs"...). They would identify me as a "religious moralizer" who they perceive as making matters worse by telling people to wait until marriage for sexual activity and then to remain faithful to your spouse.

In their defense, they do seem to have the statistics to back up their claims. On one page on their site, they refer to other studies showing that 80% of HIV-infected women in south India were monogamous and 25% of HIV-infected women in Rwanda have only had one sex partner their whole life - their husband.

But their conclusion is that "Promoting abstinence or faithfulness as the only ways to prevent HIV transmission will leave millions of people without the ability to protect themselves from infection."

How can someone get HIV if they are abstaining from sex? How can a married couple get AIDS if both stay faithful? But it is assumed that everyone is going to have sex anyway (such we are just animals), so we need condoms in and out of marriage and medicine for those infected who will keep being sexually active.

This makes me so sad. This is living life at the minimum. We are missing out by taking these short cuts to intimacy. God has a MUCH better plan for our lives.

Sex is beautiful. It was created by God, not only for reproduction, but for enjoyment, bonding, emotional health, and so much more. The Scriptures are FULL of this message. But when we give our bodies to someone that we haven't committed to by exchanging vows before God and witnesses, we aren't able to FULLY enjoy, to FULLY bond, to FULLY be healthy. Which leaves us below the maximum and truly missing out on God's blessing.

I have seen this play out over and over and over with countless numbers of young adults. And not just with young adults who grew up in church hearing this message. I've seen the pain that premarital sex has had on the hearts of even non-Christians who have bought into the cultural mantra of "sex is okay between consenting adults". They engaged in premarital sex because the temptation was so strong, they longed to feel loved, and hey - everybody's doing it anyway...

As seen in the article, some may discount the 95% statistic in the survey referenced above because of the bias of the survey's conductors, but I'll give Guttmacher their statistic because it is irrelevant to me. Even if 100% of all teens and adults had sex before marriage doesn't mean that 100% are enjoying the best for their lives. It could be possible that those people are living at the minimum and not enjoying the maximum that God calls them to and wants to give them.

Yes, the draw to sex is extremely powerful for most people. But I WANT to want sex with my wife. I want to want her and I want her to want me. So thank God for the sexual desire in mankind! It is a beautiful thing. It's just too beautiful to give to someone who isn't your spouse. As someone who belongs in the 5% who never engaged in sex before marriage, I don't regret one minute of my decision to wait. It was hard - but it was worth it.

P.S. If you have already engaged in premarital sex and realize that you aren't living life at God's wonderful maximum, take heart. The cross of Christ can renew you and let you enjoy the blessing of His maximum!