Absent Fathers

A while back I posted about the fatherless generation. Yesterday, I saw "fatherlessness" twice. One brought disgust. The other brought disappointment.

I am one of 4 fathers helping coach the 2nd and 3rd grade girls' softball team our daughters play on. We have a wonderful team of 13 girls. I've enjoyed coaching with the other 3 guys - they all know their stuff, but they aren't in this to win. They want the girls to play hard, but have fun in the process. It's been an enjoyable season so far.

Last night was our 4th game. On the bleachers next to our dugout among the families watching the game was a couple I didn't recognize. They may have been the parents of one of the girls on our team, or they may have been parents of one of the girls on the other team. For that matter, they may not have been parents at all and simply distant family members or friends come out to support one of the girls (and for the sake of what I am about to say, I really hope they aren't parents!).

As I trotted in after the top of the first inning to help prepare our girls for their turn at the plate, I noticed the male giving deep attention to an item in his hands. I figured it might have been some sort of fancy cell phone like a Blackberry and he was getting some work done. It was between innings, so perhaps he was checking a couple of emails. I didn't think too much about these scene at this time.

As I coached at first base, I couldn't help but notice the guy again. (He was in my line of view as I looked at the girl up to bat.) He was still fixated upon the device in his hands. Once again I stopped paying attention to him and put my attention back on the team.

Then as we switched over to take the field again, I noticed this guy still working. But this time I realized what the device was. He was playing a Nintendo DS! This 30-something guy was fixated on a handheld video game while his daughter is out playing softball. Not once during the entire evening did I see this guy lift his head. The gal sitting next to him, who I assume to be his wife, appeared bored, but at least she was watching the game. Perhaps the look on her face was not one of boredom, but of frustration that her husband was giving all his attention to a video game and ignoring his child out on the field.

I could only shake my head in disgust at this scene of "fatherlessness". And then conviction came.

I remembered I had been playing "Scramble" (a Boggle-like game) on Facebook earlier that afternoon. S, my 4 1/2-year-old, asked me to help him with something. I mumbled something about "give me a minute" and kept typing away as I found words. For 60 seconds, my son Swas fatherless. Yeah, his dad was sitting right there, but his life for a moment was existing as if he had no dad. Thus, I'm disappointed in myself.

It is so easy as a guy to give my attention to games and gadgets. And being a true guy, I can only do one thing at a time. And so I made my one thing my game and not my son for a few seconds.

But as I just talked about on Sunday with one of the couples I'm doing premarital counseling with, Ephesians 5:25 instructs us husbands to love our wives (and I believe our children, too) as Christ loved the church. And (as I always ask the guy) how did Christ show His love for the church? Yep - He died for her. As a husband and father, I am asked by God to die to myself for the sake of my family. It's hard. But it's the call and command I accepted when I said "I do."

I had good reasons for playing my game yesterday: it was my day off, I'd volunteered in the morning at a Water Distribution site, I swam laps for exercise over the lunch hour, and felt I deserved a little fun while my household had "book time" (the daily quiet part of our home's afternoon). But perhaps the guy at the ballgame felt the same way - maybe he'd volunteered somewhere (maybe he had actually spent his entire day down in the flood zone helping people clean-up their homes, not just a morning doing an easy job of loading up cases of water), maybe he had ran 15 miles for exercise (and not just swam 1 mile like I did), and maybe he had spent two hours of focused time with his daughter all day and so he justified his game play during her game.

But no matter what his reasons or my reasons might be for our actions, we are each called to put our families first above ourselves. So if you are a husband or father, I encourage you to do the hard thing - to die to yourself for the sake of your wife and/or kids. Trust God to provide you with the right opportunities for fun. Give your attention to those around. To put it in Men's Fraternity speak - reject passivity, accept responsibility, and expect a greater reward. Please - I've had enough disappointment and disgust in AWOL fathers for one day.

Thousand Points of Light

The media gravitates toward news that will attract attention - which is why often the news is more on the negative side. We hear of some tragedy or scandal, and so we listen, watch, and read more closely than if it was a "positive" news piece. I think this is why we've seen barefoot people tromping through their toxic mud-filled homes rather than seeing the truly great things happening in and around this city.

I'm not immune to this. When I heard about the devastation brought to Aid to Women, I wanted to know more. When I heard about a couple of incidents that happened at the checkpoints, I listened more closely (and even mentioned it on my blog).

20 years ago, George Bush Sr. said in his inauguration speech, "I have spoken of a thousand points of light, of all the community organizations that are spread like stars throughout the Nation, doing good. We will work hand in hand, encouraging, sometimes leading, sometimes being led, rewarding." While the media points to the moments of darkness and trial to attract eyes, I'd like to point to some of the "thousand points of light" happening in Cedar Rapids.

First, my very own church is one. I am so proud of my church family at this moment. They have simply been amazing. From organizing the North Water Distribution site outside of Sam's Club, to turning in hundreds of volunteer applications, to jumping into the muck with fellow church family members to clean their walls, basements, and more - the family of New Covenant have rallied like I could have ever dreamed.

Second, I'd like to mention Serve the City. Roughly two (maybe three) years ago, Serve the City (STC) began as a coalition of likeminded churches who wanted to see the city of Cedar Rapids be aware of who Jesus Christ is. Rather than be a bunch of blowhards who simply yell at others about Jesus, we wanted to truly build relationships with those who are living life without a relationship to Christ. So the 37 churches and 7 ministries that teamed up to form STC simply began talking about "prayer, care, share." And truly this is what they did. They began to pray for the city. And they began to care. So when the floods happened, God already had STC in place to extend that care in deeper ways than we could have ever imagined.

I talked with Officer Yardley (who I mentioned in a post on Tuesday, June 17) on the phone today. He was calling to thank me for my kind words (some how he found this blog - so I guess I have 4 readers now). As we talked, he went on and on about the incredible acts of kindness he saw happening all over the city, many of them coming from STC volunteers. He gushed about the STC volunteers he has interacted with this past week, and he said he truly could not have done his job without them. He pointed out that many of the stories of the amazing things STC volunteers have done might never be heard - and so I'm doing my small part to make them known. They truly have been a point of light in the middle of this dark time for Cedar Rapids.

Third, I have been very impressed with the Red Cross volunteers. I watched Peter Teahen of the Red Cross (and Cedar Rapids native) lead the Rompot Neighborhood meeting on Tuesday night. He was incredible. He empathized with people. He gave them permission to feel the emotions raging through their minds. He affirmed their questions as being good and valid. But he also wanted to help them move forward. His kind demeanor helped to keep the meeting calm, when it could have been volatile (why else do you think they had 10 chaplains and 10 cops there! :o).

As Peter and other leaders from FEMA, SBA, city, police, and other groups talked to the people, Red Cross volunteers were passing out waters and snacks to all those in attendance. Some of these volunteers have come from thousands of miles away just so they can hand someone a water bottle to keep them going another day.

Fourth, I want to mention Watershed. For the summer, they decided to make the 2nd Thursday a "serving Thursday" rather than gather for worship through song and teaching like they usually do. Because the floods hit on Thursday, they served together last Saturday in various ways around the city. They are also helping a local ministry both with donations and time. And tonight they are going to be praying for the flood victims (both those who lost homes, and those who lost jobs), volunteers, city leaders, and more.

As I think about these points of light in these 4 groups, I am wondering if what has happened in Cedar Rapids could happen in a larger or smaller city. Smaller towns usually don't have the resources a city of our size has. Yet larger cities don't have the relationships the way a city of our size has. I think this might be part of the reason why Cedar Rapids has been able to respond in such amazing ways to this epic flood. But another reason why Cedar Rapids has been able to rally like this is because of the thousand points of light God has either put in place, or brought in for such a time as this.

So while the tough things the news reports are probably true, know that for every tough story you hear about the recovery of Cedar Rapids, a thousand more positive things are happening. Cedar Rapids is truly shining bright! To God be the Glory!

Looking for Help

This isn't exactly the way I wanted to celebrate 250 posts on my "boring" blog...

Do any of my 3 readers want to help me with some simple copy/paste work for New Covenant's eXchange blog? You simply need Internet access. Slight familiarity with HTML might be helpful, but it's not a huge deal. And you don't need to be a New Covenant member/attender to help. :o) Basically, I need to copy the devotionals and bios from an online program called Basecamp to the eXchange blog in TypePad and really could use some help so I can focus on some other projects. Total time commitment I'd estimate to be about 3-4 hours, but it doesn't have to be done all at one time (in fact, it can't be all done in one time because not all the devotionals are turned in yet!). And I'd even take 2 hours of donated time. Anything would be a help.

If you'd be interested in volunteering to help me with this, email me at erin DOT bird AT newcovenantbible DOT org (with the DOTs and AT converted to symbols and no spaces between any words).

Tour of the Cedar Rapids/Palo Flood of 2008

Here is one of the best (or maybe I should say "worst") collection of photos I've seen yet on the flood. It is a "tour" of the flood - before, during, and after - in both Cedar Rapids and Palo. Thanks to Charlie Snodgrass for forwarding this to me, and thanks to Andrea Lynn for the stunning photos. Hopefully Andrea will continue to add to it as Cedar Rapids continues the rebuilding process.

Serving our Servants - Flood Update

I had the privilege of serving as a "chaplain" yesterday at one of the checkpoints for re-entry into the flooded areas. Apparently those calling the shots thought the presence of chaplains at each location might help defuse any situations that might arise. I enjoyed serving alongside Tom Fogel, teaching elder/pastor of Cedar Valley Bible Church, and having two of us made the day more enjoyable.

But not only did Tom and I enjoy serving alongside each other, but both Tom and I were incredibly impressed by Officer Charity Hansel. When Tom and I received word as we got our assignment that they were not allowing anyone in to the restricted areas (which was a "pull-back" from yesterday's "escort" entry), we knew that frustrations might be higher than experienced the previous day (a new plan was put in place late last night which will hopefully encourage citizens and speed up the process of reentry). But Charity's attitude defused all of the situations at our checkpoint. She treated each person with dignity and respect, empathizing with them and their feelings, and yet she upheld the law as she was called to in her role. I could tell that the National Guardsmen serving at our check point were impressed with Charity, her "realness", her humor, and her respect for all people. Like them, I was honored to serve this civil servant, and my respect for the CRPD is at an all-time high.

After noon rolled around, things at our checkpoint slowed way down. So Tom and I headed over to another checkpoint that was busier. Once Officer Steven Yardley, the policeman in charge of the checkpoint, learned I was with Serve the City, he asked me to help a young couple who was stranded on the east side of the river and needed to get to a grandma's house on the west side. While I knew I could find someone to take them with a simple phone call, I figured it would take an hour just for someone to get there to pick them up, so I loaded them up myself and took them across the river. That was a great experience for me to see firsthand what so many Cedarrapidians are experiencing everyday in their travels. Traffic was backed up on I-380, as well as on Wilson Ave. (I felt like I was back in Denver on the I-25 parking lot.) As I dropped off the young couple with their two kittens and one tub of stuff (which was all they now owned), the young man turned to me and said "please thank that officer back at the checkpoint for us." They had experienced the same thing from Steven at their checkpoint as I had seen from Charity at the first checkpoint - dignity, compassion, and a respect for both persons and the law. As I watched those in line interact with Steven, I was again extremely impressed with the job Officer Yardley was doing.

When I read the KCRG article I've linked to above last night, comments were open. Many of the comments were horribly demeaning of our police department. Thankfully they've closed the comments because they weren't helping or shedding new light on the situation, but I felt that someone should know the great work our police are doing from at least one person's perspective. It truly was an honor to serve those serving our city in uniform. They are doing a great job. And while it is very likely there are a few officers on the force who don't treat others in nearly the same manner as I saw displayed by two fine police officers I worked with yesterday, our police force deserves some Kudos for the fine work they are doing overall. So if you see an officer in blue, be sure to thank them for their service.

Photo Credit: Jim Slosiarek of The Gazette

This is reporting?

I woke this morning to my alarm telling me to wake up much earlier than I wanted to. After one snooze, I tried to keep my eyes open. On mornings such as this, I check the weather and news headlines on my phone to get my mind going and help me wake up.

This morning the top headline feed on Google News was a New York Time's headline about the flood here in Cedar Rapids, so I clicked to see if anything had developed overnight. I was suddenly awake as I read the insulting New York Times article which almost seemed to mock the people and officials of Cedar Rapids, making it sound as if we had asked for this. Christopher Maag, the author, writes that we were cocky, thinking something like this would never happen. He even chides our forefathers for building our government buildings on an island in the river. Mr. Maag makes it appear we are like the godless people of Noah's time, laughing at the possibility of a catastrophic flood.

But what Mr. Maag barely points out is that the previous record, set twice, was 20 feet. The famous '93 flood didn't even break the 20 foot mark. How could anyone expect we'd break the record not by a couple feet, but by 12 feet? We are surpassing even a 500 year flood. How do you prepare for that? Yet Mr. Maag seems to think that we should have been ready for a 32 foot crest, and to not be ready for that huge of a flood is foolish. For Mr. Maag to paint the people of Cedar Rapids in this light under these conditions does nothing to encourage the people nor point out the resiliency and determination of this community. So let me give a more accurate picture.

Last night I was serving as a "chaplain" at the Red Cross shelter set up at Viola Gibson School. The people I talked with weren't in denial, they weren't feeling foolish, they weren't shaking their fists at God. They were taking this in stride - they weren't looking defeated. One 70-year-old man I talked with lost the home that he had grown up in since birth, and yet there were no tears. He knew that when he died someday, he wouldn't be able to take anything with him, and so his "stuff" wasn't worth worrying about. He just knew he'd have a lot of work awaiting him once he could return to the house. And he was fine with that.

Once the lights were turned out, I headed home. I had heard that they needed sandbaggers at the Edgewood well, so I planned to change clothes and head over to help. But as I was buying water at Wal-Mart, LeAnn called to let me know they no longer needed sandbaggers - so I headed home to stay. As I watched the continuing coverage on KCRG, I saw hundreds of volunteers helping sandbag around Mercy Hospital. They weren't quitting. Even as the flood waters continued to rise, shattering all predictions, the people of Cedar Rapids fought on.

This morning while calling people to recruit volunteers for today, I found out about people who were volunteering through the night yesterday. No one seemed to be thinking it was foolish to keep fighting on. No one is complaining about the water rationing. Even the civil servants of the city aren't complaining when they have to do extra work because of those who held out hope they could stay in their homes.

Perhaps Mr. Maag isn't really in Cedar Rapids. Perhaps he is merely receiving info from other sources (like this really bad article) and he's piecing it together, informing his writing with his perceived stereotype of Iowans. Because if he had spent just a little bit of time with the people I did last night and watched the efforts I saw on the news, I think his article would have a very different tone.

Photo Credit: Jim Slosiarek of The Gazette

A 500-year flood in my lifetime

I'm not posting this for the two readers who already live here in Cedar Rapids because you are already experiencing this. I'm posting this for the one reader who lives outside this area. Cedar Rapids (and the surrounding area) is experiencing floods of epic proportions (I won't say "biblical proportions" because I have a feeling the flood Noah experienced was a bit bigger :o). We are shattering river level records left and right, and the famous floods of '93 look like puddles compared to what's going on right now. No one really knows what the current level of the Cedar River is because the electricity for the gauges is out, as it is for the entire downtown area of Cedar Rapids and more.

The photo above (taken from YouNews on KCRG's website) is of a train bridge they feared might go under. So they parked a train one it as you can see in the photo, with the train cars filled with rocks, in an attempt to keep the bridge in place. Just an hour or so ago, I saw aerial footage on KCRG's running coverage of the flood, and sure enough, the train bridge was in the water despite the efforts to save it. In the same aerial footage, I also saw that the Czech/Slovak museum is submerged - all you can see is the roof line.

Cedar Rapids brags about being only one of two mainland cities in the world whose government offices are on an island. That island is completely inaccessible now as the unthinkable has happened and the 2nd and 3rd Ave. bridges, which access the island, are completely covered.

No one ever thinks they will live to experience a 500 year flood, yet here it is. My home and family are safe, and as long as electricity is on, my basement will stay dry. I've got a roof leak with a bucket in my attic catching the water until I can have some dry weather to attempt, yet again, to repair the spot where the water is entering the roof. But that is incredibly small compared to what many of my neighbors downtown and surrounding regions are experiencing.

One of the great things about Iowans is how resilient they are. They'll bounce back from this - and many will do it with a great attitude. We've seen it many times in our farming communities, we've seen it after the devastating EF-5 tornado in Parkersburg and surrounding towns over the Memorial Day weekend this year, and we'll see it here. My prayer is that those who do not know Christ will not shake their fist at God for allowing this horrific flood to occur, but rather that they will realize how fragile and temporary this life is and that they need to cry out to God and find true life in Christ.

Happy Father(less) Day?

I forget where I heard this story about elephants and fathers first, but basically, a "gang" of wild young elephants were terrorizing the African plains, randomly killing other animals, especially rhinos. These young elephants had been transplanted, and had grown up on their own without parental supervision. So one idea that was implemented to try and stop these elephants from killing was to bring in an old bull elephant. Once "Dad" was present, all the killing stopped. Fathers (or just plain male figures) seem to make a difference.

I just read a GREAT article on how the young adult generation in many aspects is the "fatherless generation" like the wild herd of young elephants. It is an interview with Rick Johnson, author of Better Dads, Stronger Sons and founder of Better Dads, a fathering skills program designed to equip men to be more engaged in the lives of their children. I agree with many of Rick's conclusions, and would encourage you to consider how you can help change this culture of "fatherlessness".

To any guys reading this: The first idea I have for changing this culture of fatherlessness is to be a great father yourself (or prepare to be a great father). Stay involved in the lives of your kids. Sacrifice time for yourself and give it to them. Read a book. Throw a ball. Even watch one of their TV programs for 30 minutes (and talk about it with them). Ask how their day went and really listen to them, even when they ramble and struggle to find the right words. They crave your attention and admiration and need to know you are proud of them and love them. So show it - through your actions, your ears, your eyes, and your words.

My second idea (especially if you don't have your own kids yet) is to "adopt" the kids of a single mom you know. Take them out for an afternoon, take them to the park, give the mom a break, and let these kids know that there is at least one guy who thinks they are important. You may not be able to be a "guy friend" to every kid out there, but you can do it for one kid. And that make all the difference.

Latest edition of The Connection

For the past 8 months, I've been putting out a somewhat-quarterly newsletter for the young adults at New Covenant called The Connection.  The purpose of this newsletter is to "connect young adults to God, New Covenant, and each other."

Each time I create a new issue, I intend to post a link to it on my blog, but I have failed to get that accomplished... until this time!  Here is Issue 3 of The Connection in PDF form.  Enjoy!

I'm a Happy Mac Man!

As my three readers probably saw this week, I had a bit of an up and down week (it kind of went back down today - my roof started leaking again. Grrrr....).

Some of the downs were because of computer issues. More specifically, the new Time Capsule I ordered from Apple wasn't working right (or so I thought). But after spending 2 hours Saturday afternoon talking with Apple, the situation is golden!

Turns out when I migrated my documents from my 9-year-old G4 tower still on OS 10.2, an old "URLMount" folder migrated over as well, which gave me two URLMount folders - the new one that came with the new iMac, and the old one migrated over. This understandably confused the computer, so it couldn't connect to the hard drive portion of the Time Capsule. Once Alex finally helped me figure this out, we deleted the old URLMount folder, restarted, and low and behold my new iMac could finally connect to Time Capsule.

This problem was extremely rare, and so the first two people couldn't quite help me out, so I ended up talking with 3 Apple employees in my 2 hour phone call. But each one treated me with respect and really took my side in the issue. I felt like they were just as motivated to solve my problem as I was. Apple has done a GREAT job of training their employees on treating customers who call in for support. I've been a long time Mac user, and while I haven't had to call very often, each time I do I leave the phone call impressed.

So many times people complain when they get bad service (as I have done before on this blog), so I thought I would actually do the opposite and publicly let people know when a company actually did it right. So great job Apple (if anyone from Apple were to actually ever read this - which is probably slim to none! :o)

The "Goodness" of Man

I rarely ever see Nightline, but a few months ago I happened upon an interview anchor Cynthia McFadden had with Kay Warren, wife of author and pastor Rick Warren. During the course of the conversation, Kay was explaining how every person born is depraved and in need of a Savior. Cynthia interrupts her and says "really? I would take the opposite approach. I think mankind is basically good."

This is a popular notion in our culture - men and women are born basically good. "Sure, they mess up every once in a while, but overall their good outweighs their bad," is the general thought. But if this were actually true, then how do things like this actually happen?

I'd seen a couple of headlines this past week about this hit and run, but when I finally read the short article I linked to above, I couldn't help but think about the "goodness" of man that our culture talks about. If mankind was generally good, then someone would have walked over and helped this elderly gentleman in less than a minute. In fact, if people are inherently good, then the driver would have immediately stopped to help the 78-year-old he leveled.

So in the lens of the world, this incident is shocking. But from a biblical lens, it isn't shocking a bit. Scripture clearly teaches that "All have turned aside, they have together become corrupt; there is no one who does good, not even one." (Psalm 14:3) and "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God," (Romans 3:23). This is why Kay Warren is right and Cynthia McFadden has bought the lie - mankind is depraved and desperately needs help to overcome it. Thank God for Jesus! :o)

A rollercoaster week

This week has been one of great highs and frustrating lows (but the lows could be far worse, so I'm trying to keep that in perspective). I'm really short on time (have a TON to do - looks like it might be an all-nighter tonight!) so forgive me for being probably-way-too brief:

HIGHS:

• Celebrated 14 years of marriage to my awesome wife yesterday!
• Eating at Vino's and seeing Iron Man last night with LeAnn as part of our anniversary celebration!
• "Tickling the ivories" for LeAnn since the 14th wedding anniversary gift is supposed to be ivory. I played the processional song I wrote that she walked in on.
• Seeing my wife's tears of joy after I played Bridal Fanfare. :o)
  
• Summer has officially started - school's out!
  
• I am now the parent of a middle schooler and 3rd grader!
• Receiving hugs from my 4 awesome kids each day!

LOWS:

• Knowing a tornado tore through Parkersburg and other surrounding towns on May 25, causing tons of destruction and taking 6 lives.
• Waking to the sound of "drip, drip" in my upstairs hallway on Friday morning last week.
• Having to miss out on going to help with clean-up in Parkersburg to fix my own roof (Steve Adolphs offered his parents roof to me since it was laying in their backyard after the tornado, but I declined)
• Living with a really painful left knee for several weeks now.
• Having WAY too much to do right now - I have a wedding to prepare for & a blog and email template to design for the eXchange series - all due by tomorrow. :o(
• Having computer issues, both with our new iMac at home, and my MacBook Pro at work.

I guess this is life. God gives us the great joys to praise Him through, and the lows to develop our character. He sure is good, though, that is VERY evident to me as I experience all of this.