Appearances

It's been WAY too long since I've posted.  I've had too many thoughts that I wasn't able to get recorded, and with my horrible memory, I'll never recover them.  Oh well.

Since it's been so long, I'm going to do another "catch up" post (which means it will be entirely too long!), with a true "blog thought" at the end.  So for my family and close friends, read the first portion.  For those who don't care about my life and just want to read my thoughts on an issue, skip to the non-bulleted section at the end (it's okay to skip, I won't be offended - the first part is mostly for me anyway).

• Got back last Saturday from taking two weeks off.  Just moments ago I handled the last email that had piled up during my absence, so I'm celebrating by allowing myself to post here.
• The two weeks were WONDERFUL.
• Week #1 - went to Cedarly Pastors Retreat.  Andy and Nancy are incredible hosts.  Mike is an amazing chef.  The other couples there are awesome people.  The environment was perfect for having time to read, reflect, and pray.  And getting to sleep in each day and then having time to do things like read and write was almost too good to be true!  The week really was refreshing.  (Thank you, Tom Pietz, for your strong recommendation!)
• I had decided before going on the retreat that I would spend time writing a book.  I've never done that before, but I heard Pastor Ray (the pastor who was here at New Covenant when I came on staff 6 and half years ago before going home to Christ after a battle with prostate cancer) say once that he thought everyone should write at least one book in their life, even if it would never be published.  The discipline would be good for them.  Since I always learn so much when I work on sermons, I thought I would get just as much out of writing a book.  I had WAY more fun writing than I ever thought I would.  Who knows what I'll ever do with the book, but it's been fun and educational (or maybe I should say transformational) for me.
• After coming home from the retreat, we got to celebrate S's 5th birthday with a "Bird Family Night" style birthday party.  The 5 friends he got to invite (plus their families) all piled into the middle school room in New Covenant's building to watch a LarryBoy cartoon, eat popcorn and munchies for supper, play games, and enjoy controlled chaos.
• On the Sunday we were home between the retreat and Thanksgiving week, I enjoyed watching and helping with the cardboard testimonies in the worship services (click here to see an example of what we did).  There was some very powerful ones.  As someone who grew up in a Christian home, it was difficult to come up with my own cardboard testimony, but the more I thought about it, the more God truly has changed me.  I thought of what I'd be like without Christ, and I'd probably be a "nice guy", but I'd be incredibly selfish.  While I am still selfish, I'm sure my wife, kids, and friends are glad I'm a Christ-follower!
• Watching the cardboard testimonies fueled my desire to see even more people's lives changed by the gospel of Jesus.  I'm realizing that I'm a bit addicted to changed lives - I rarely am moved to tears, but when I hear of how Christ has changed someone's life, I find myself choking up a bit.  And the weird thing is, I want to choke up more.
• Week #2 was spent in Bellevue, NE to celebrate Thanksgiving with my mom's side of the family.  As usual we had a blast!
• My family got to help serve at my brother's church's Thanksgiving meal on Wednesday night.  The church bussed in over a thousand people, fed them an incredible meal, and allowed those who needed a new winter coat to select one before being bussed home.  This was the second time we got to do it.  This time around they had TOO many volunteers, but the evening still went well.  We got to serve as table hosts.  Two years ago when I got to do this I had some great spiritual conversations with the people at my table.  This year I only got to host one table, and it seemed that everyone they sent me either was already a believer or didn't want to talk.  Oh well.  My wife and sister-in-law had a good conversation with one gal - hopefully the lady will pursue Christ and not simply religion.
• I enjoyed the Nebraska game - well, I only enjoyed it cause they pulled out the win (and got to watch it with my brother, dad, and one cousin).  I didn't enjoy the fact that they allowed Colorado to score 3 easy touchdowns in the first half.  Nor did I enjoy the fact that the Husker offense seemed to move the ball at will until they got within the 20 yard line.  But if you like dramatic football games, this one was for you.
• LeAnn and I put up new blinds on Monday this week in the eating area and kitchen - finally!  The old ones were in horrible disrepair - they were so bad that I think it embarrassed some of our neighbors.  But no longer!  Now instead of cheap, broken, "alabaster" vinyl blinds, we have cheap, non-broken, white blinds.  Huge thanks to my dad for helping me out!  (Hanging the blinds went much smoother by having someone who is actually handy helping with the job.)
• Now that the blinds are up, all young adults (and those who help serve and lead them) at New Covenant are welcome to our annual Christmas Open House tomorrow night from 6-12.  If you are on Facebook, here is the "Event" a friend set-up for the party.

And now my blog thought (at least the one I've hung on to the past couple weeks...)

While at the pastors retreat in Wisconsin, LeAnn and I met 5 other really neat couples.  One of the couples was newly married and instantly likable.  But they were also unemployed.  The husband had recently resigned from his Jr. High youth pastor position at a church.  He and his wife were at the retreat to seek God and his direction for their lives.

Over the course of the week, we learned more about each couple.  The reason he had resigned from the church was due to unhealthy boundaries.  As a single guy, he didn't notice these unhealthy boundaries, but as a married man, he began to see that these issues would keep him from being a great husband, which in turn would keep him from being a great youth pastor.  What were these "boundaries" being crossed?  He was regularly working 80 hours per week.  He was overseeing two youth groups at two different campuses (their church was "multi-site").  He would receive phone calls from his superior at 2 or 3 in the morning to talk about "business".  The final straw came when he was told he had to lead one of the youth groups on Tuesday night instead of Wednesday night, the same night his small group met.  His small group was the one thing that was actually helping him, encouraging him, and strengthening him to make it through the week - the thought of losing that on top of everything else was enough to open his eyes to these unhealthy patterns.

One evening during our week, this particular young adult couple mentioned the name of the church they had resigned from.  We didn't have Internet at the retreat house, so I looked up the church when I was back home and could hook the Internet I.V. back into my digital veins.  I wanted to see this "horrible" church that abused it's staff like this.

To my surprise - the church looked great!  As I perused the church website (I tend to read other church websites - it's what us pastors do), I found myself thinking, "This looks like a GREAT church!  I'd go there based on what I'm reading!  The site is beautiful.  The vision and mission is compelling.  The appearance of this church's site makes this look like a great church."

Had I not talked to someone on the inside, I would have believed the appearances.  But the story of what was lying underneath was completely different than the website indicated.  Staff were leaving in droves.  Relationships among the staff weren't emotionally healthy.  And a fantastic young Jr. High pastor with an incredible heart for Jesus left.

I feel so sad for this church.  They lost a great guy.  LeAnn and I found ourselves wishing there was some way New Covenant could hire this twenty-eight year old.

But I'm also excited for this young man and his bride.  They did the right thing by stepping down and they are doing the right thing by seeking God in all of this.  They are living by faith, willing to do whatever HE wants for them.  And I know that God will do great things through them for His Kingdom.

As I pondered all of this after seeing the church's website, I couldn't help but think - what appearances am I giving off that aren't true to what is really underneath?  Are there things that need cleaned up, corrected, or improved in my life?  Am I saying one thing with my mouth, but doing another in my thoughts or actions?

All I know is that I don't want to be like that church - giving the appearance of being one thing, when underneath a completely different story exists.  To live like that is to live unlike Christ.  However, it is my prayer that God would daily continue to change me to be more like Jesus in how I think, talk, act, and love.  Jesus didn't put on appearances, so neither should I.