Marriage Advice: Don't Meet in the Middle

As I've mentioned on here, I try to swim three times a week to stay in shape.  Unfortunately, the pool manager likes country music, so my ears often suffer musical distress while I'm in the locker room.  Today, as I'm putting on my shoes to head out after a good swim, I hear a song entitled "Meet in the Middle" (which I found out is quite old and  performed by Diamond Rio).  Within the lyrics was some marital advice based on the title.  After mentioning a disagreement in the second verse, the chorus rings:

I'd start walking your way
You'd start walking mine
We'd meet in the middle
Neath that old Georgia pine
We'd gain a lot of ground
Cause we'd both give a little
Ain't no road too long
When we meet in the middle

This is common marital advice.  But it is BAD advice!

When I talk about conflict resolution with couples in premarital counseling, I tell them that most people (like Diamond Rio) see the problem that is causing conflict like a mountain that needs to be climbed.  Each spouse has to climb over the issue until they finally meet at the top, or in Diamond's words, "meet in the middle."

But God says in Genesis 2:24 that He makes the couple one flesh.  The individuals are no longer simply two people, but in a beautiful, mysterious way God makes the two into one.  (Tangent: No wonder divorce is so painful! If the two become one flesh, then divorce is the ripping of flesh. That's why Christ says in Matthew 19:6 that what God has joined together, man shouldn't separate. He's trying to protect us - not keep us from what we really want.)

So if a man and a woman have been made one flesh, then they shouldn't climb their mountain problem separately.  Rather they should climb together.  Work on finding the solution together. Don't let the mountain come between you.  Stay committed together to finding a solution.  Don't just seek compromise - seek resolution.

So sorry Diamond Rio.  I'm not going to meet my wife in the middle.  I'm going to walk the whole way with her.

Posted via email from erin bird's web nest