A Snail Race in January (Faithless Waiting)

I am amazed at how faith-less I am at times.  My family has taken a HUGE step of faith to leave New Covenant to go learn about planting a church.  God has generously affirmed and confirmed this calling several times in the past weeks and months.  Yet I still find myself lacking faith.

Case in point: Yesterday morning, I overheard LeAnn telling Tsion that it was Dec. 1.  As I heard the words "today" and "December" combined in a sentence, my heart sunk.

 In that moment:

• "December" meant I have been "unemployed" for 6 weeks.
• "December" reminded me that we still didn't have our nonprofit organization set-up, which we had naively assumed would be done 6 weeks ago.
• "December" teased that we still have a ton of work to do on the house to get it ready for sale.
• "December" reminded me we still have some big financial decisions to make concerning the promotion of our nonprofit. 
• "December" taunted that we haven't raised a dime of salary, and my New Covenant salary ends Dec. 31.
• But most of all, "December" mocked the prospect of us moving to Kansas City in January.

 
I took my tea, breakfast, and pity party upstairs to my "office" to begin my day in God's Word.  As I sat down with the Scriptures to read Nahum & Habakkuk, God's words through these Old Testament prophets began to spank my faith-less spirit.  Habakkuk 2:3 particularly stuck out:

 

For still the vision awaits its appointed time;
it hastens to the end—it will not lie.
If it seems slow, wait for it;

it will surely come; it will not delay. (ESV)

This ministry move feels like a snail-race in January.  We are working so hard to move ahead and obey God.  Yet despite all of our activity, we have been feeling like we are stuck on a treadmill.

 But as Hab. 2:3 jumped off the page at me, I sensed God say "wait for it".  Just as the prophet Habakkuk and his listeners wondered when the Babylonians would attack (many thought "never"), we have had our moments wondering when this "vision" from God to go to Kansas City will happen.  But God says to us, just as He said to the Jews of Habakkuk's time, "it will surely come; it will not delay."

 So I proceeded into my work day with that on my mind. Then during the course of the day:

 

• we got our logo for our nonprofit!
• I made tremendous progress on a website for our nonprofit as well as knocked out several long-awaiting to-dos!
• and best of all: we finally got the articles of incorporation establishing our nonprofit! (Which we'll roll out to you really, really soon!)

A few months ago, as we knew we were going to be raising funds in the "near" future to follow God into this vision to start a new church to lead people deeper in their spiritual journey with Jesus, we started praying that God would raise the funds in such a way that He would get all the glory.  Perhaps this time of waiting is actually part of the answer to that prayer.

Then when the funds actually come in, the move actually happens, and a new church is actually birthed, it will be evident to all that I didn't do this in my own power.  Instead, God picked me up and moved me to the finish line.  Because I'm just a snail, working as hard as I can, and He knows I can't finish this race on my own.

Posted via email from erin bird's web nest